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My Firm Foundation


This time every year something happens. Something that rocks my world.
Last year it was the end of a good friendship and the death of my grandmother.
This year it will most likely result in the end of another really good friendship (thankfully no deaths)

Now I'm not naive to think that I did not play a part in these friendships ending. The one constant in both those events was me. I can't blame another for my actions or lack of actions. I made mistakes in my friendships with those people and I must live with the consequences of those mistakes. It sucks because they probably would've been life long friends and we both messed them up.

But despite all these friendships ending, I am realizing more and more that I need to rely on the one thing that won't fail me.
Christ. 

People come and go in our lives, but Christ is constant and He alone is my firm foundation. (Psalm 62) He is the only one that won't leave me. He won't treat me like a toy. He won't get bored and find someone better.  He calls me His beloved (Romans 9) and because of that I do not need to worry about what others think of me or how many friendships I have.

I'm not going to lie about it and say losing friendships isn't difficult and that I haven't cried about it. I got off the phone with my mum today crying for almost an hour about the most recent friendship that's ending. It's difficult, it's painful, but it's also sanctification. And though I know the end result will be more beautiful then I could ever imagine, the process is still extremely difficult.

One of the things that is getting me through this process is the songs on this EP by two of the most talented people I know at Liberty, Kyle Smith and Lauren Sweeney.  Though all these songs have helped me through this process I would encourage you to listen to the songs Psalm 62 and You Give Me Life and purchase their EP from iTunes. They are such Spirit filled songs and I hope they will be a blessing to you just as they are a blessing to me.
bible, friendships, music,
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The First Name That I Call

*Written January 16th 2015. Posted January 28th 2015*


This is my final Spring semester at Liberty University. That's really weird to think about. I feel super old yet that I'll be done so soon and entering the real world outside the Liberty bubble. But I also feel really young. Didn't I just have my ballet birthday party a few years ago?

Last semester stretched me in ways that in all honesty I didn’t want to be stretched. I failed greatly at things I didn’t think I would ever fail at. I lost people I didn’t think I would lose for a long time. I relied on my own strength to deal with things that I could not deal with alone. In short, it was not the greatest year.

Don’t get me wrong - a lot of wonderful things happened last year but when you look at it on a scale of the good and the bad, the bad kinda out weighed the good. 

However today, January 16 2015, at Convocation we sang the song Let It Be Jesus by Christy Nockels & Passion Band which is one of my new favourite worship songs. The last time we sang this song as a school was during Jon Gregoire’s memorial service.


Let it be Jesus
The first name that I call
Let it be Jesus
My song inside the storm
I'll never need another

For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus

Should I ever be abandoned
Should I ever be acclaimed
Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame
There's a name I will remember
There's a name I will proclaim
Let it be, Let it be Jesus


This song reminded me of what I am striving to be. A women who calls, not on her mother, sister, roommate or friend when I'm going through struggles (though those people are important and I should be in communication with them when I'm struggling) but calls on Jesus.

As much as my parents, siblings, or friends might want to save me from things in my life - they really can't.  Only Christ can completely save me. Only Christ can save me from my stupidity, from my sin, from my hateful actions. Only Christ can save me from me. Which is something I will never be able to fathom cause I do a lot of stupid things. A. Lot.

But as the song says:
“Should I ever be abandoned or acclaimed.
Surrounded by the fire and the flame.There’s a name I will remember, there's a name I will proclaim.
Let it be Jesus."
Even when I don’t deserve it - which lets face it, is all the time - Christ looks at this messed up person and says “I want her." Even when I don't want Him - which is crazy because I should only want Him - He still wants me.  

And the love Christ has for me is not dependent of anything I do (thank goodness!). So when I choose not to call on Christ and rely on my own strength, he will still love and embrace me.  
It reminds me of a J. D. Greear quote someone posted on Facebook recently which I will end with. 

"God, I thank You that I'm not saved by the warmth of my love for You." - J. D. Greear




Authors Note: I understand that this post is very discombobulated however I have left it as I found it in my draft folder. 
2015, bible, Liberty University,
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Don’t Idolize Your Leaders



First, let me take a moment to thank you all for reading my previous post on the changes at Liberty. The fact that 600+ people have taken the time to read my words means so much to me. Thank you!

Don’t idolize people.

Ever.

People mess up. People will fail you.

Don’t idolize Billy Graham. Don’t idolize Tim Tebow. Don’t idolize the Republican nominee. Don’t idolize Obama. Don’t idolize Stephen Harper. Don’t idolize John Piper, Francis Chan, Alistair Begg, Joel Osteen, or any notable pastor.

Don’t idolize Justin Bieber, Harry Styles, Emma Stone, or any other movie/music stars.

Don’t idolize your favourite sports team or athletes.

Don’t idolize your significant other.

Don’t idolize your pastor.

Don’t idolize Johnnie Moore, Justin Kintzel, or President Jerry Falwell.

Also, don't idolize dead humans like Ronald Reagan, C.S. Lewis, or A.W. Tozer, either.

Don’t idolize people.

They're sinners. They've messed up. They've done things they aren't proud of. Things, that to this day, they are ashamed and embarrassed about.

Your idolatry will destroy them and limit their impact for the Kingdom of God.


Remember that the goal of every Christian leader should be to point others towards Christ.


As Christians, when we reduce Christianity to our favorite speakers or worship leaders we’ve missed the whole point. Those gifted leaders are not in their position for their own benefit. They have felt called by God to do what they're doing. They should not want us to be their biggest fans - they want you to be pointed to Christ. They want you to be Christ’s biggest fan. They should never be focused on being well known. They want to make Jesus known!

When you idolize your leaders and say things like this,
"Justin Kintzel was the only person who could lead me to worship Christ." 
"Justin Kintzel/Johnnie Moore were the only people who can lead Convo. I don't want to go anymore now that they're gone."
When you say those things you are placing those people above the One who created them and blessed them with the talents they possess. 

One thing that I know is that no matter how talented or smart a person is - they are absolutely nothing but instruments of the Almighty and should not be placed above Him. He has blessed them with their gifts and talents. God can take those gifts and talents away at any moment.

By idolizing someone, you are placing a TON of pressure on them. I would hate to have that kind of pressure to maintain a certain level of perfection in order to please everyone else. I place too much pressure on myself as it is.  Would you want that added pressure on yourself? I think it’s safe to assume you would not. 

Please, by all means keep honouring, loving, respecting, and learning from your leaders, but don’t idolize them. Doing so keeps you from seeing the reason for their existence - to bring Glory and Honour to our heavenly Father.
bible, liberty, LU,
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Rise Up From The Grave


One of my favourite worship songs to sing is to myself is "Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher. I don't know if it is the simple chord progressions or the way it builds at the end of the song but one thing that I do know is the first line always gets me.

 Let no one caught in sin remain, inside the lie of inward shame...

It doesn't matter when I hear it. Whether when it comes up on my iPod while walking through an airport or at Liberty convocation with Justin Kintzel leading 12,000 students on a gloomy Monday morning. Almost without fail I cry, and lately I've been thinking about why I cry when I hear that line.

Short back story: I was first introduced to "Christ is Risen" in 2012 while preparing to go to Turkey on a mission trip with a few friends from my young adult group. I instantly fell in love with the song when I heard it. It's rare that I love a new worship song as much as I enjoyed this one. It was simple yet profound and full of Spiritual truth, just what a worship song should be. Not fluff but rooted in the gospel.

That one line is so powerful and has impacted me so much. So lately I've been thinking about why that line has impacted me as much as it has.

I'm a very quiet person. I don't like letting people in. It makes me feel vulnerable and I don't like that feeling. I have my box and my box is safe. I don't want to have to open up and let people in my box because it's my box. If someone I know if having a problem I am hear to listen but as soon as I'm having a problem I go into my box and try to deal with it by myself, in my box.

That being said when I mess up, and I believe me I do mess up, I don't share my problems and sins with others. I keep them to myself and dwell on them, becoming consumed with shame and self-loathing. I question Every. Single. Action. And Every. Single. Thought. that led up to me messing up and what I should have been my response. I over analyze everything that happened and everything that was said or down. And then I apologize and pray repeatedly that God would forgive me for my past failures. (I don't do this just with God, I apologize to my friends all the time. They can attest that I'm constantly apologizing. Rarely does a conversation go by without me repeatedly apologizing for the same thing.)

The thing is, I know Christ was put on the cross for my sins. For every impure thought I've ever had, for every rude sarcastic comment I've ever said (and will ever say), for every time I've blatantly ignored someone who has asked for my help. God has forgotten it all. He will not remember my sins. His Word tells me this in Isaiah 43:35.

"I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins."

I think that's why that line has always hit me. Every time I hear that line I am reminded that I don't need to be living in the shame of my sins. They are forgiven. I have been forgiven for them. Now that doesn't mean I need to forget them and keep sinning. In Acts 3:19 we are called to:

 "Repent and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out."

 Our sins are not remembered. They are blotted out from God's mind. All we are asked to do is repent and turn from them.

As Christians, we no longer need to be living in the shame of our sin. Yes, we may have to deal with the worldly shame that comes with our sins. And yes, the world will condemn us for our mistakes. They will always look down on us for messing up. But the thing is, we are loved by an Eternal, Sovereign, Gracious, Loving, Forgiving God who will not shame us. He is not surprised that we've failed. He sent His Son because He knew we were going to mess up.

This is why I'm thankful the song doesn't end after the first line. It continues:

But fix your eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely you bled, for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
.....
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake!
Come and rise up from the grave!

We no longer need to live in the shame of our sins. He has forgiven us and we are His.

Don't remain in the shame of your sins. They have been forgiven. They've been covered by Christ's blood on the cross. Rise up from the grave.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." ~ Psalm 103:12
bible, christ is risen, thoughts
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