The First Name That I Call
*Written January 16th 2015. Posted January 28th 2015*
This is my final Spring semester at Liberty University. That's really weird to think about. I feel super old yet that I'll be done so soon and entering the real world outside the Liberty bubble. But I also feel really young. Didn't I just have my ballet birthday party a few years ago?
Last semester stretched me in ways that in all honesty I didn’t want to be stretched. I failed greatly at things I didn’t think I would ever fail at. I lost people I didn’t think I would lose for a long time. I relied on my own strength to deal with things that I could not deal with alone. In short, it was not the greatest year.
Don’t get me wrong - a lot of wonderful things happened last year but when you look at it on a scale of the good and the bad, the bad kinda out weighed the good.
However today, January 16 2015, at Convocation we sang the song Let It Be Jesus by Christy Nockels & Passion Band which is one of my new favourite worship songs. The last time we sang this song as a school was during Jon Gregoire’s memorial service.
Let it be Jesus
The first name that I call
Let it be Jesus
My song inside the storm
I'll never need another
For me, to live is Christ
For me, to live is Christ
God I breathe Your name above everything
Let it be, Let it be Jesus
Should I ever be abandoned
Should I ever be acclaimed
Should I ever be surrounded by the fire and the flame
There's a name I will remember
There's a name I will proclaim
Let it be, Let it be Jesus
This song reminded me of what I am striving to be. A women who calls, not on her mother, sister, roommate or friend when I'm going through struggles (though those people are important and I should be in communication with them when I'm struggling) but calls on Jesus.
As much as my parents, siblings, or friends might want to save me from things in my life - they really can't. Only Christ can completely save me. Only Christ can save me from my stupidity, from my sin, from my hateful actions. Only Christ can save me from me. Which is something I will never be able to fathom cause I do a lot of stupid things. A. Lot.
But as the song says:
“Should I ever be abandoned or acclaimed.
Surrounded by the fire and the flame.There’s a name I will remember, there's a name I will proclaim.
Let it be Jesus."
Even when I don’t deserve it - which lets face it, is all the time - Christ looks at this messed up person and says “I want her." Even when I don't want Him - which is crazy because I should only want Him - He still wants me.
And the love Christ has for me is not dependent of anything I do (thank goodness!). So when I choose not to call on Christ and rely on my own strength, he will still love and embrace me.
It reminds me of a J. D. Greear quote someone posted on Facebook recently which I will end with.
"God, I thank You that I'm not saved by the warmth of my love for You." - J. D. Greear
Authors Note: I understand that this post is very discombobulated however I have left it as I found it in my draft folder.
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